Inside: Is your mind constantly on overdrive? Mine too. There is so much noise in our world right. But we can choose how much of that noise we let in.

My mind has been on overdrive lately. When I’m with the kids I’m thinking about a project I’m working on or a relationship I need to work harder to cultivate. When I am working or writing I am thinking about what I should be doing differently as a mom and wife and friend. 

Have you ever felt the same? 

At first I wasn’t sure where it was coming from exactly, though there is some family stuff in the background, some unknowns in the future, and a world that looks so different than it did just 9 months ago. But usually I don’t get this feeling of….unrest? There is always something on my mind, something in the background I am worried about or unsure of. I can tell it is affecting my parenting. I am not as present with my kiddos as I normally am. 

And the sleep! It is taking me forever to fall asleep. I am exhausted, but my mind won’t shut down long enough for the body to drift off...

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This is how I was feeling just a couple of weeks ago. And I was frustrated. And then hit me one day - it wasn’t the circumstances around me that were to blame. It was some new habits I had picked up that were really the cause of the constant noise.

Culprits of The Mental Unrest

When I started to think about what was going on I realized the root of the problem was this: overstimulation. We talk about overstimulation with our babies all the time. We don’t want them at noisy venues or around too many people at one time when they are newborns. We work to make sure their surroundings are calming and only let them play with loud toys for limited amounts of time. But at some point, as they age, we forget about overstimulation. And we definitely don’t give much thought to it as adults. 

But it was becoming apparent to me that the reason my brain constantly felt like it was on overdrive was because - it was! I wasn't giving it a real chance to take a break. I wasn’t allowing my mind the space and quiet it needed to recharge, think clearly, rest, and breath. 

There were three main culprits of this overstimulation:

1. Podcasts

I LOVE podcasts. I could listen to them all day long. I usually have a couple that I will be addicted to for a bit, then I’ll move on to some new ones, and rotate back to a few of the old ones. I love the information that they give, the encouragement and motivation that they provide. And, as a stay-at-home mom, they supply the adult “conversation” and connection that I crave during the day. 

But I had gotten carried away. As soon as my kids would leave the room or play quietly in the corner I would slam my headphones in my head and hit play (then was confused why my mood suddenly shifted for the worse when the kids would come to ask a question or tell me something). 

Though I still love podcasts, I was noticing they were stealing more than they were giving. 

2. Picking up my phone in the morning

Here on the blog I often advocate leaving the phone on the table during your Mama’s Morning. But, in total transparency, I have been violating this little rule a lot lately. It seems every morning, instead of placing my phone back on the table after turning the alarm off, I would carry it to the living room and scroll while I prepared my cup of tea. And some morning the scrolling would last long after my tea was made. 

Instead of an energizing morning routine, I was using the first hour of my day to stuff useless information and noise into my mind. Though in a way it felt relaxing in the moment, it was slowly draining the energy from my mind and body. 

3. Watching shows on the laptop in bed

My husband and I have been known to curl up with the laptop in our bed and watch a few shows before we fall asleep. But over the past few months we have been focusing on reading more before bed, and leaving show-watching to the weekends. Lately, though, I have been back into the habit of whipping out the laptop, tossing a mischievous grin towards Lance, and turning on our favorite show. While we love to watch and relax shows together, the mental stimulation right before bed was starting to have a negative affect on my sleep. And I knew I needed to sleep!

These three habits had all gotten worse over the past several weeks. There was hardly a time in the day where my surroundings were quiet and my mind was relaxed. And this was proving to be a problem. 

The solution

Something had to change. I wasn’t making choices that I was proud of, and even though these habits were all fun in the moment, it was obvious to me that they were not good for my mental health or for my relationships with my family. So what needed to change? I made two simple shifts. I:

1. Created a designated phone area

I have been wanting to do this for years, and have mentioned it to my husband in the past, but had yet to actually implement it. We decided that our phones would live in the office just off of our bedroom. In general they were not allowed to be used around the house. If we needed to text or check it we have to walk to the office and do it there. 

This rule simultaneously stopped me from bringing the phone with me into the living room in the morning, and it quashed my addictive podcast bingeing during the day. 

And let me tell you, this has only been in effect for about a 1.5 weeks, but I can already tell a difference. My brain feels less crowded and more clear during the day. I have felt more open with my kids, and am getting less irritated. 

I also got my phone-free mornings back. And it truly is glorious, mama. 

2. Downloaded several books to my kindle

I have long said I am not a huge fan of the Kindle, but prefer a paper back in my hands. Over the past few months, however, I have started to realize the value in a Kindle - I can have more than one book ready to go at a time, and can quickly snag a new book without having to make a trip to the library or wait for it to be delivered by Amazon.

If I have a good book ready I don’t mind reading vs. watching a show at night. It’s when I have finished a book and don’t have another in the pipeline that I’ll turn to a show or 3 🙂 at night.

Mama, you can have more calm, too.

Has mom-brain been taking over your life lately? Have you been lying in bed at night, unable to quiet the thoughts and get the rest you need? Are you tired of a mind that is constantly going? 

Most of us have trained our brains to run this way. We never give ourselves time to sit and appreciate nature, or curl up and read a book. We’ve always got some type of media playing or information blasted in front of our eyes.

If we want to have minds that are calm, quieted, and ready to embrace and love our kiddos fully, we have to give ourselves that opportunity. We have to get rid of the noise and distractions. Does that seem impossible? It’s not. Most of it comes from that little device you probably have in your hand right now. 

Put it down. 

Sit in the silence. 

Let your mind rest. 

Sit and watch your kids play. 

Wash the dishes without music or a podcast playing the background.

Read a book during nap-time, outside in the sun.

Stop constantly feeding yourself with information and noise. Be quiet. It feels hard at first, but it is so worth the effort, and I promise you won’t regret it. 

I’m rooting for you,