Inside: We might be covered in crusty Cheerios and dried peanut butter, but moms still want and need to have big goals! Not sure how to set a big goal? Here are the 7 steps.

I gripped the cold metal posts that stood to my right and my left. My bare feet pressed against the cold metal grate and the sweltering heat and humidity of the jungle wrapped around my body. There was nothing between me and the pond below but 150 feet of thick, sticky air. 

The bungee cords were wrapped tightly around my ankles. And behind me, in broken English, I could hear the instructor cheering me on, encouraging me to go for it. Warm tears slipped from my eyes to the edges of my jaw. 

“I can do this!” I told myself. I could see the dots on the ground below that represented my mom, dad, and three siblings. I could feel the chunks of fried rice coming back up into my mouth. 

“No way on earth I can jump off of this platform!” I said, just a millisecond later. 

And then I did it. I pushed my feet off of the metal grate, lunged my body forward, and let myself fall. 

And it felt like freedom. I laughed and screamed and tried to make sense of the world spinning around me. To date, it is the most exhilarating, freeing sensation I have ever felt.

Big Goals Are Like Bungee Jumping

Big goals are like bungee jumping. They are scary, intimidating, and seemingly impossible. But once we take the leap - once we decide that we can and should run after a dream - it is one of the most freeing (but still terrifying) experiences. That decision releases a built up tension that has been held up in our spirit for far too long. 

As moms, it’s easy to forget the dreams that we once had. Or when we do remember what those goals and aspirations were, we tend to mourn them. And then push them to the back burner for another life. But it shouldn't be that way! Even as a stay at home mom who spends your days wiping bottoms and stirring spaghetti sauce, you can and should make and pursue big goals for yourself. 

You should dream. You should dream big, dream scary, dream audaciously. And then have the courage to pursue that dream.

7 Steps To Setting Big, Audacious, and Scary Goals 

1. Decide that you can set big goals

And this is the biggest obstacle for many of us mamas. If you are anything like me, then for many years your biggest dream was to be a mom who could stay at home with her kids. Then when you finally got that - when you felt your belly swell and went through the pains of labor then the joys of quitting your job - you suddenly had this guilt ridden realization that being a stay at home mom was not your only dream.

So the first step to setting a big goal is knowing that you can and should. That it is important for you to recognize and act on the skills, gifts and passions that God has given you. And figure out how you can affect others with those talents in a big way. 

2. Brainstorm

Grab a pen, a notebook, find some quiet time (maybe early, before the kids wake up), and dream. 

• If you didn’t have kids, what would you be doing?
• What do you love that you wish you had more (or any!) time for?
• In 5 years, what do you want to be able to say about your life?
• In 10 years, what do you want to be able to say about your life?
• What are you really good at? 
• What do your friends/family ask you for help on or get your advice in? 
• What did you love to do as a child? 
• What did you want to be when you grew up? 
• What do you want for your children to be or become? 

Ask  and answer these questions. But there are some rules for when you do:

1. Don’t edit. Let the answers flow.
2. Resist the urge to judge yourself.
3. Let go of the details - don’t think about the “how” just yet.
4. Remember: in brainstorming there are no limits, no right and no wrong.

You know when you open the fridge and the lone egg that your 4 year old placed at the edge of the shelf rolls out and cracks on the floor? Spraying egg juice everywhere? That is what brainstorming should look like. You’ve got to open the vault of your mind and let everything tumble out. It will be messy and ugly, but it should be. You can clean it up later. 

3. Whittle down the list

Run over the list that you made, and choose the top three goals or dreams that stand out to you the most. Which of the things that you listed make your heart jump? What excites you the most? 

Once you have the top three, circle the one that means the most to you. 

Don’t overthink this. If you have ever been to Hobby Lobby, you know what kind of overthinking I’m talking about. Just a few weeks ago I was in search of a new clock to go in our living room.  I stood in the aisle picking up and putting back; touching and examining. It’s a clock for goodness sake, just pick one! After walking away and coming back several times, I was starting to get exhausted. And of course, I ended up with the very first clock I looked at. 

Don’t overthink it, just pick. 

4. Make it bigger

If it doesn’t make you a little nervous - if a small knot doesn’t form in the pit of your belly when you think about it - then it is not big enough. So look back at that goal you circled and think about ways you can make it more impactful.

According to a popular goal setting technique (SMART), goals should be “attainable”. But I am not sure that is always the best way to set goals. In some ways, your goal should seem unattainable. If it is too easy, you won’t be motivated enough to make big moves and push yourself to get it done. If it seems unattainable (but worth pursuing) you’ll be more incentivized to take big steps and get out of your comfort zone. 

As Ruth Soukup says: Do It Scared. 

5. Create mini-goals within your big dream

The key to looking at that big goal and not running in the opposite direction is having smaller, attainable goals along the way. Your big goal should be broken down into pieces and chunks. Build a staircase up to that dream. Like a layered cake, put together the little elements that when stacked on top of each other lead you to your accomplished goal. 

These mini-goals will also give you something to celebrate along the way. Because if you want to motivate yourself to wake up early every day, or motivate yourself to write a book, or get inspired to make 10 new friends in the next 2 months, you’ve got to celebrate the small wins along the way. 

6. Put it all together and write it all down

Promises kept in our head are promises that we are not going to keep. So if you want to keep yourself accountable and make good on your commitment to yourself, you need to be writing your goals down. In fact, according to Inc.com, you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. 

And not just your big goal, but map out your plan of attack for your mini-goals, as well. 

Grab your pen and a sheet of paper and get to writing. Make it clear, make it pretty, make it inspiring. Write it down. 

7. Keep yourself motivated daily

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily” - Zig Ziglar

Right now you probably feel pretty pumped about your goal: you have your big dream set, your mini goals planned out, and it’s all written down and prettied up (it’s not? Well then what are you waiting for!?)

But I can promise you this: there will be a day this week when you will wake up and feel discouraged by it. You will wake up and be tempted to forget it all. You will wake up and feel scared that you’re going to look like a total idiot. You will wake up and realize that you don’t have what it takes to get it done. 

Don’t let those feelings stop you. We all have those thoughts. The difference between the people that achieve their goals and the people that don’t is the people that get it done don’t let the voice in their head stop them. They keep themselves motivated. And they realize that they have to do it daily. 

So figure out a way to remind yourself every day of your big goal. Maybe you tape your goal on the mirror or on the fridge. Or you have a reminder set to a favorite quote scheduled to pop up on your phone every day at 10 AM. You choose what it is. Just promise me that you will keep yourself motivated daily, and you won’t give up. 

It’s Time To Set Some Goals: If I Can Jump Off That Platform, You Can Too!

It turns out I loved bungee jumping. So much so that I asked to do it again the next year for my 12th birthday. 

Once you start working towards your big goal, once you start pursuing your dream, the freedom and joy that you feel on the other side will be breathtaking. Like bungee jumping, once you take the dive, once you fall even when everything in your life tells you you can’t do it - you’ll never want to look back. You’ll be hooked.

Mama, you might be home with little ones all day, but you also have big dreams in your heart. I know that you do. And you can see them come to life. So set those goals. And start right now.

Remember:

1. You can set BIG goals!
2. Brainstorm and let the ideas flow (without editing yourself).
3. Whittle down your brainstorming list to your top 3, then select the one big goal you want to go after.
4. Make your goal even bigger.
5. Create mini-goals that will lead you to the target.
6. Write it all down.
7. Keep yourself motivated daily.

And I’ll be here if you need a little extra motivation. Because, as always:

I’m rooting for you mama.