Inside: 4 reasons every mom should be pursuing personal growth - for the sake of your family and those around you. It is a must! And it's not as hard as you think...
“Insane is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
I think I go a little bit insane every.single.day.
::
My husband bought me a new pair of earbuds a couple weeks ago.
And because I have a tendency to lose almost everything, I vowed that I would be diligent in placing the buds back into their case every time I took them out of my ears.
No more putting them on top of the microwave or setting them on the counter. Nope, back to the room and in the case they go. I vowed I would not lose these.
And then one day I grabbed the case, flipped it open, and found one lone earbud waiting to be used. Not two - just one.
Crap.
That morning, when I carelessly tossed the earbud on the kitchen counter, I knew that I was crossing a line that I had carefully drawn for myself.
“But this time is different, and I will be back to grab it in just a sec once I got the kids ready to go.” I told myself.
But it wasn’t different. And now the earbud is nowhere to be found.
Personal Growth For Moms: It Is For You
My choices often reveal that I believe outcomes and consequences can change even though my actions or habits do not.
Like when every day before nap I am frantic trying to get lunch made and put away, the house tidy, the kids contained - most days at 11:55 AM you will find me running around the house like a headless chicken. And for some reason I think that one day, without any effort or intentionality from me, our pre-naptime routine will magically be smooth and easy.
But it won’t. Unless I make a change. Unless I learn, grow, and take action.
Personal growth is not just for people with careers and high heels.
Personal growth is also for you, mama. Because personal growth is about learning, building better habits, and improving actions and reactions (and I don’t know about you, but my reactions could use a little improvement…)
Every mom should be pursuing personal growth.
Here is why:
4 Reasons Personal Growth is A Non-Negotiable For Moms
1. Love, patience, generosity, and confidence are all skills to be learned
Before we had kids, Lance and I got a puppy. We hadn’t planned on it - a family member’s dog had puppies so we claimed one.
Neither of us are “dog” people, but he was cute and - why not? (an aside: if “why not?” is your answer to “why?” you might want to spend some more time contemplating your decision….)
I had visions of running through the neighborhood with this little guy, him leading and exploring with me. Even though I am allergic to all furred animals, I was sure that we would be friends and he would be my best companion.
So I took this little puppy out for a run - visions of us side by side running along the road fresh in my mind.
And you know what? That dog sure did explore - but never in the direction I wanted or needed him to.
“Come on Leo!” I would fume. “Let’s go!”
But he wasn’t interested. To be honest, I don’t think he liked me very much.
Our days as dog owners didn’t last long. And my dreams of having a running companion quickly faded away.
On day one I wanted him to go run with me. But instead of having the patience to train and practice with him, I just opened the gate and let him go, fully expecting him to follow alongside me.
I had a vision, but I didn’t take the steps necessary to make it come to life.
We have to put in the work if we want to have a larger capacity to love, to be patient, to be confident in who we are, to be generous. All of those things have to be learned and practiced. They don’t come naturally or easily. If we are not diligent in exercising those skills they are not going to get any stronger.
We can’t just have visions of what we want our character to look like - we have to do what it takes to get to where we want to be.
2. Our kids are growing - we must be, too
I’m not sure if you have noticed, but our kids are growing up. They are getting bigger, smarter, stronger, and more thoughtful.
A few nights ago we went to a friend's house for dinner. We were chatting on the front porch and I looked out to see my almost 4 year old rolling down a hill in their front yard, tackling his friend, and playing without a care in the world. Lance and I were eating and enjoying good conversation.
Not once did our son come over to make sure we were still there, or to get a hug or a kiss.
Every day our son is getting more and more independent. Every day he is becoming more curious and more thoughtful.
I bet your children are too.
Our kids are growing, learning, changing. And let me tell you - if they are, then you and I better be too! Because we have to be ready for what is going to come. For the questions that will pop up, for the issues they will face. We have to be ready to help guide and lead them.
And we aren’t going to be prepared if we aren't intentional about learning and growing ourselves.
3. You must prepare for the inevitable difficulties of life
“Life is misery,” my husband often says. He is not a pessimist or anything - just a realist 🙂 But what he means by this is: life is hard. It should be! We live in a fallen world.
But we do have the ability to meet those difficulties with strength instead of falling victim to them.
With my first child I was sure I was going to have a “natural” birth. No epidural for me, please. I remember telling a coworker, who was shocked by my plans: “women have been doing this for centuries! Our bodies were made for childbirth.”
So did I read any natural birthing books to help me prepare? Did I study the Bradley Method or other techniques to help women cope with the pain of childbirth?
No, I did not.
And guess what happened about 6 hours into labor? I asked for an epidural.
Life will throw you a curve ball. There are going to be difficulties - difficulties so heartbreaking that the wind will literally be yanked out of your gut exposing a gaping, aching hole.
It’s the little things that you do everyday, the little habits that you build now, that will keep you strong with life gets really tough.
4. Your kids should be inspired by the way you live
“When we get home, I want to put my guitar strap back on,” my three-year old whispered to my husband in church last week.
He has a guitar and has been playing it without the strap - but the three guys in the band at church each had their strap on, so he decided he wanted it back on, too.
If my son was watching those guys up there on stage, you better believe he is watching me and my husband every.single.day.
Your kids are watching you, too. They are learning from you. They are observing how you react and respond to situations. They are watching you as you pursue creative outlets. They are learning from the habits that you have developed.
Be an inspiration to them.
Let your life be an example for how you would like them to live.
Personal growth is for you, Mama
Every mama should be intentionally pursuing personal growth. Personal growth is not complicated - it is simply learning, building better habits, and improving actions and reactions.
So as a mama, personal growth is a non-negotiable. It should be a part of your everyday life. Because:
- Love, patience, generously, and confidence are all skills that have to be learned.
- Your kids are growing - you should be, too.
- You must prepare for the inevitable difficulties life will throw at you.
- Your kids should be inspired by the way you live your life.
You’ve got this mama!
Oh, and because I know you're dying to know - my 3 year old found the ear bud outside in the dirt by his "garden" a few days later. So now it is nestled next to its twin in the case, safe and sound 🙂
I'm rooting for ya!
