Inside: Craving an early morning alone? Would be nice if your kids would ever let you get a good night's sleep! Here are 8 tips to get your toddler to stay in bed and sleep through the night - so you can, too. 

Hot tears were running down my face. Sun was streaming into the windows, casting a glow throughout our apartment. It was a beautiful day. Which made my tears feel all the more lonely. 

My 5 week old was crying and whimpering in his crib.

“But the book said he is supposed to be sleeping by now!” I cried to myself. 

He wasn’t. And I felt so alone, tired, and lost in this new role I was playing as mama. I opened the book again and started studying the paragraphs and charts. What was I doing wrong?

::

Sleep can draw some pretty big emotions for us as moms. We want our babies to be loved and healthy - and sleep is a big part of that. But when our babies aren't cooperating and we are left confused and in tears, it’s so easy to set down that expectation and walk away. 

Not the expectation to love and care for, but the expectation that we must teach them how to sleep. And the next thing we know they are 18-months and still sleeping in our bed. Or waking up 4 times a night.

Getting babies and toddlers to sleep is emotionally draining. You feel like you have done everything, but nothing has worked. But I am here to encourage you: keep trying. Sleep is important enough to fight for. And here is why:

Why It Matters That Your Toddler Sleeps Through The Night

A few months ago I was going to sleep at 9:30, waking up at 3:30, and loving every minute of the 2.5+ hours alone spending time in the Word, working on projects, and being in the quiet. Bliss.

But slowly, I could feel my brain start to deteriorate. By 4 PM I was useless - irritable, cloudy, slow, lethargic. 

I needed to get more sleep. 

We need sleep to function as moms. Our kiddos need sleep, as well. Getting good sleep has been proven to help our kids think more clearly, have better memory, and be more alert + attentive. Plus sleep is a key component of good physical health. 

Do you feel mom guilt bubbling up?? Stop right now. Don’t let it seep in.  What is in the past is in the past. What matters is what you do going forward. And mama, habits can be changed, and routines can be adjusted. It will take time, persistence, consistency, and maybe some tears…..but it can happen. And you can do it!

3 Common Reasons Toddlers Aren’t Sleeping Through The Night

Nicole Johnson over at the Baby Sleep Site, says there are 3 main reasons toddlers aren’t sleeping through the night. Here they are:

Hunger: 

I was surprised at this one, but Johnson says this comes up with more of her clients than she expected. If your little one keeps waking up at night, it could be that they aren’t getting enough food during the day. 

Poor Schedule: 

Sleep is cyclical. Our bodies become accustomed to when to shut down and when to wake up. When your little one is not on a consistent schedule, their body gets confused.

Sleep Associations: 

When babies and toddlers get used to being coaxed to sleep, they become unable to fall asleep on their own. We all have nights where we wake up unexpectedly. But as adults we know how to get ourselves back to sleep. Kids should, too. But they have to be trained to do that. If they never learn this skill, sleeping through the night will always be a struggle. 

So there are the three main causes of toddler nighttime wake-ups. But how do you get them to finally sleep through the night? Here are a new ideas:

8 Simple Tips To Help Your Toddler Sleep Through The Night

1. Have consistent bedtime and wake up times

It is important for us moms to go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday, and it is important for our kiddos, too. The consistency will help train their little body and minds (kids crave consistency). 

It’s tempting to let them sleep in so you can get some extra time alone in the morning. Or to stop worrying about bedtime and stay late at those family dinners and church events. But stay consistent mama.

2. Be regular with their nap-time

Being consistent with nap-time is just as key - it is part of their daily wake and sleep cycle. If you find your little ones are having trouble going to sleep at bedtime, make sure their nap-time ends a good 5 hours before bedtime starts. 

3. Excuse-proof your routine

“I hungry.” 

“I thirsty.”

“I go potty.”

“Fix my blanket”

Every. Single. Night. Sometimes your child really is thirsty or hungry! But eliminate the excuses by taking note of what they ask for right before bed, and then adding that into your bedtime routine. If your kid is always asking for a sip of water when they get in bed, be preemptive and give them a swig right after bath time.

Create a routine that considers their normal pre-bedtime requests. Then when it comes up 15 minutes later you can let them know they just had a banana and don’t need anything else to eat.

4. Have a consistent night time routine

Speaking of nighttime routine, do your best to keep it consistent. The regularity of a routine will prepare their minds and get their bodies winding down for sleep. It could be a simple 15 minute routine of brushing teeth, reading a book, and singing a song.  But do the same thing every night. Leave no room for guessing. 

5. Let them help you design their routine

If your child is old enough, get their buy-in! Let them choose what order to do things or which books to read. Give them an opportunity to take ownership in their bedtime routine, and they will be much more compliant. 

6. Spend undivided time together before bed

Your day has been full: running errands, picking up the older kids from school, cooking a meal for a friend who just had a baby, etc. With all that going on, your little one might be craving a little one-on-one time.So when bedtime comes around they take advantage of having you all to themselves. 

So do your best to spend good, quality, eye-to-eye time with your little one in the evening. I know it can be hard with everything you have going on - but if you make it a priority, you can do it.

7. Be calm yourself

They are going to get their cues from you. So make sure that your body language, voice, and demeanor are calm and relaxed. 

8. Let them cry

If you have made sure they are safe, they are fed, and they have had enough water, then let them fuss and cry! This might be controversial (and should only be done if they have been in a healthy emotional environment), but your child needs to know boundaries. Kids can use crying to get their way. It’s the truth. We do the same thing as adults (minus the crying - but we all have our own techniques we use to get what we want). Set boundaries. They won’t be followed right away. But if you are consistent and firm, your child will learn. 

You and your toddler can both get the sleep you need. 

If your toddler is not sleeping through the night, don’t get discouraged. And for sure don’t let mom guilt consume you! This should be encouraging. You want and need sleep. Your toddler wants and needs sleep (even though they fight it). And you can both have it. 

Changing up routines can be uncomfortable and hard. But if you want the outcome, you have to do the work.

::

I cried that day on the couch (one of many that first few months of parenthood). I felt confused, guilty, and alone. I don’t want you to feel that way anymore. Take it one step at a time, one night at a time, always remembering the goal. 

And though there may be tantrums and crying and refusing, your toddler will thank you, in years to come, as well. 

So get that baby to sleep! And then get the sleep your body is craving (your Mama’s Morning is waiting for you). 

I’m rooting for you!