Inside: Being a mom can be tough at times, but don't let the funk bring you down! Learn how to beat the blues with this encouraging advice and these practical tips.
It's real - you're not the only one. We've all been there. The kids are throwing tantrums and the laundry is piling up. You've run out of diapers but can't for the life of you imagine running to the store in the midst of the chaos. You haven't showered. Grease from unwashed hair is lingering on your forehead.
Everyone is in such a mood. You're in such a mood.
We've all been there. But just because we've all been there, doesn't mean you need to stay there. There's a better way.
Being a mama at home with little ones can drive you absolutely crazy at times. But you're not crazy. You've got this.
Don't let the funk bring you down! With a lot of encouragement and some super practical tips I'll show you how to beat the blues and get back to feeling energized and clear-headed.
What is Mom Funk?
You never thought you'd be a yelling mom, but here you are. It feels awful, but you can't seem to stop the cycle. Is it normal for moms to yell at their kids? Sadly, yes. Does that mean it's good or right or OK?
No.
Or maybe you're not yelling. Maybe you're zoned out on the sofa on your phone.
Scrolling...
scrolling...
scrolling...
Or you're cleaning all day, because cleaning is your way to escape and hide.
You want to cry, yell, throw something, crawl into a hole (preferably one made in the warm comforter on your bed) and never come out.
Mom funk can look different for everyone, but here are some common symptoms:
- yelling at your kids
- feeling blue every day
- constantly distracted, thinking about anything but your role as a mom
- only thinking about being a mom
- chronic frustation
- idolizing alone time
- overwhelmed with simple, every day tasks
Are you there, right now? It's ok. Take a breath. I've got some tips for you.
>>> Read >>> Tips to be a more patient parent
7 Tips to Get Out of Mom Funk
You're not stuck. You can make a change and get out of the mom funk you find yourself in the middle of right now.
The catch - you've got to take a different action. Here are a few tips to help set you free:
1. Put your phone away
A screen has rarely done anyone's mental health any good. As tempting as it is, and as immediately satisfying as it is, your phone isn't doing you any favors. Some ideas to keep you from grabbing your phone:
- create a phone station
- set "phone times" in the day in which you check texts and respond
- get outside and leave your phone in the house
- don't let your kids see you on the phone unless you're answering a call
- grab a friend to keep you accountable
2. Connect with God
As cliche as it sounds, if you find yourself smack dab in the middle of mom funk, you need to surround yourself with Truth. Because what sounds like truth in your head right now, in this moment, isn't really Truth.
You need an anchor to hold on to, and the Word of God is the only anchor that stands strong, despite any storm. So grab on to Him. And hold on to His promises.
3. Get Outside (everyday)
Research shows that being outside can:
- reduce stress and improve mental clarity
- increase happiness and decrease depression
- produce better moods and attention to detail
Plus, being outside is another way to connect with God.
You won't want to head out the door. You'll want to stay inside curled up in a ball. But for goodness sakes, get outside!
Psalm 19:1 says:
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands."
4. Shower and get ready for the day
Wake up before the kids, even if it's just 15 minutes early, and get ready for the day. Shower, get dressed, drink a glass of water. Preparing your body for the day will help you prepare your mind for what is to come. Plus you'll feel more confident and alert. It's a game changer!
>>> Read >>> How and Why to Wake Up Before Your Kids Everyday
5. Get together with other moms
They might be in the same boat as you and need a friend. Or maybe not and they can encourage you! Either way, God did not create you to be alone.
The voice that says "being alone is better" is lying to you. Don't let that lie control you. Go ahead and text them now, while you feel an ounce of encouragement, and put a play date on the calendar.
6. Start a hobby
It might sounds like a tall order with everything that's going on, but having something fun and engaging to put your mind to can change your entire perspective. God is a creative God, and He created you in His image!
If you don't have one, here are 110 hobbies for stay at home moms.
>>> Read >>> 110 Hobbies for Stay at Home Moms
7. Volunteer outside your home
If you find yourself in the midst of mom funk, it's time to get out of your own head. One of the best ways to do that is this: stop think about yourself, and start thinking about others.
"But as a mom I already do that! Remember the tantrums, laundry, diapers we talked about earlier?"
Yes, but your mind is still on yourself, isn it?
Volunteer your time outside of your family. Serve in your community. Get out into the world and into a culture, section of town, or people you are not around on a regular basis - and serve them.
My best tip for getting out of mom funk
When every thing seems likes it's going wrong, and being at home with the kids is driving you crazy; when the blues seem to be taking over and you can't muster the energy to play or laugh - there's something you can do to get out of your own head.
Serve others.
Getting out of your world and into the world will transform your mindset.
Here are four reasons why:
1. Serving others forces you to get out of your own head
It's far too easy to sink deep into the depths of your own thoughts, worries, fears, and insecurities. This is especially true for stay-at-home moms. Focusing on the needs of others will propel you out of the mind trap that is mom funk.
2. Serving helps you appreciate what you have
You'll be reminded of some aspect of your life not everyone has the privilege to experience or have. Serving those who have less (either materially, relationally, or spiritually), will give you the perspective you need to go home and hug your family. It'll remind you to be thankful for the food on table, and appreciate the bed you sink into every night.
3. Volunteering forces you to get out of the house
Nothing will get you into mom funk - and keep you there - more than cooping yourself up at home. Volunteering and serving will, if nothing else, get you dressed, ready to go, and out of the house.
4. It will put things in the right perspective
We all need to be reminded that our sweet, little families are not the only ones in the world. Slipping into the mindset that naps come first, the right nutrition is paramount, and the amount of screen time our kids get will make or break us happens far too easily. In the grand scheme, those are trivial matters compared to what some of the world is going through.
5. God commanded us to serve
God has called us all to serve. Christ was a servant for us, His people. He is our example and model for how to live. When we get outside of ourselves and serve others, we reflect the heart of God. Just like Christ served, we are all called to serve in some capacity.
"do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." - Philippians 2:4
How to Volunteer with Little Ones at Home
Once, on a trip to Istanbul, I was able to attend a twice weekly moms group for refugee women and children. The ladies running the program had small children of their own. But they didn't let that stop them from trekking through the often cold and wet city to the little church the group met in.
They strapped those babies on their backs, not with an ergonomic baby carrier, but with a piece of cloth they pulled out of their closets that morning.
Don't let a little one keep you from serving outside of your home.
Why volunteering with your kids is important
Serving outside of your home is not just for you - it's important for your kids, as well. Here are 4 reasons why:
They'll learn the world does not revolve around them. Kids (just like adults) need to see and understand that there are other people in the world who matter, who are loved, and who need some encouragement + support in the dark moments of their lives.
You get to model the habit of serving others. Living a life of service is a practice formed through habit building. We teach our little ones the habit of giving up their time, energy, money for the sake of others by showing them how we do it.
Your kids get to see the fruit of the Spirit in action. I hope my boys see these modeled everyday in our home (though I'm constantly failing). But serving outside of our home provides a different context through which our kids can see the attributes of God on display.
We reflect God's heart. When Jesus came to earth, His whole ministry was centered on serving people. By serving we demonstrate what it looks like to love to our children. We are demonstrating Jesus' sensitive heart to the needs of His creation.
>>> Read >>> 50 Encouraging Bible Verses for Tired Moms
Get out of Mom Funk: 8 Places to Serve
When my son was around 8 months old I wanted to get involved with a reading program for local elementary kids. But when I asked about getting plugged in, I was told volunteers were not allowed to bring their young children.
While some volunteering opportunities might not be good fits for moms with kids, there are plenty of options for moms and children to serve, together. Here are some suggestions:
1. Nursing Home
Many of the men and women living in nursing homes either no longer have family living or their family does not come around very often. They can feel lonely and abandoned. Just having someone there to talk to and smile with can seriously make their day. Plus, the joy and energy your kiddos bring will light up some dark faces.
2. Snack Bags For The Homeless
Instead of driving by the guy at the intersection with a "homeless and hungry" sign, hand him a snack bag! Put together mini bags with dried fruit, nuts, pretzels, socks, chapstick, etc., and have them stashed and ready in your car.
3. Become A Foster Family
There are children who feel abandoned, alone, unloved. Children who are abused, neglected, mistreated. If you have even a tiny inkling that this might be what you are called to do, get in touch with your state's child services department. You are needed. We have fostered in the past, so feel free to shoot me an email if you want to chat about it!
4. Support A Foster Family In Your Area
If inviting children into your family is not an option, you can still be involved by supporting the foster families in your area. Some ideas for how to support a foster family in your area:
- offer to keep their kids for a couple hours
- set up a play-date
- bring them dinner
- pass along some toys or clothes
- clean their house for them
Foster families need support and encouragement. And your family can be just that.
5. Children's Home
Along the same lines as the other two, check out some children's homes in your area and see if you and your little ones could come by every week or twice a month to play and hang out with the kids! It will be a good opportunity to talk to your kids about the blessing of family.
6. Meals on Wheels
Toss your kiddos in the car and drive around the city delivering meals. I've never been involved with the organization before, but I think it would be a good fit for moms with kids in tow. Check if there's one in your area.
7. Running Errands for An Elderly Widow/Widower
If you know an elderly widow or widower from your church or down the street, ask them if you can grab their groceries or drop off their laundry at the cleaners.
8. An Orphanage Overseas
Now, I realize that most of us can't pick up and head to another country to love on some kids. But, if you have the financial means to do so, it would be a great opportunity for your kids to experience another country, culture, and people who need love. As someone who grew up overseas, I can attest to the fact that it will changed them, for the better.
>>> Read >>> 10 Unexpected Benefits of a Daily Routine
5 Steps to Start Serving in Your Community Today
- Use Google search or contact your church. The church you belong to may already be partnered with local ministries that could plug into. Start by contacting a staff member at the church and see if they have any recommendations or connections.
- Email or call several different organizations you are interested in and ask how you can help. Make sure to mention you will have kids with you. Let them know what ages they are.
- Gather information and make a decision. If your kids are toddlers or older, get them involved and ask where they would like to serve. Give them some ownership of it.
- Don't let "I'm praying about it" delay you in taking action. It is too easy of an excuse, though we all use it from time to time. Act, and if you're open God will guide you to where He wants you as you go.
- GO and do it! Love on some people, and let your kids see you loving others well.
>>> Read >>> 5 Secrets to Creating Lifelong Habits
Why getting out of the mom funk matters
If you're stuck in a rut, tired of being that "yelling mom", craving more energy and enthusiasm for life, it's time to make a change.
Change is hard. It takes doing, even when everything in you says to stay still.
As a mom, God has called you to more. He has called you to:
- live in communion with Him (John 15:5)
- intentionally focus your thoughts on Him (Hebrews 3:1)
- train your kids in holy living (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
- be a productive member of society (1 Timothy 5:13)
- live life abundantly (John 10:10)
So why is it important to get out of the mom funk? Because God has called you to more. You are a child of the King. He has a purpose for your life.
Those little ones He has given you are full of life and energy. While it is exhausting, your influence on their life is too important to let it slip away.
Say Goodbye to the Mom Funk
And I don't say this lightly. Mom funk is real, and the "blues" are real. But getting out of ourselves, out of our own heads, and serving others can do so much for our mental health.
